Why I Don’t Teach My Kids Finance

A “Teach Kids About Money” blog post was published by TIAA. Though the article was chockful of thoughtful ideas, it was enormously daunting and imposing. In elementary school, I opened a small store selling candy and snacks to kids after school and laundry soap, soy sauce, and vinegar in the morning to the busy moms. I learned about capital and paying your investor back with interest at a very early age (thanks, Mom), and that worked very well for me. So I can attest to the fact that some kids will latch on to these concepts; however, my sister knew even then how to love life and enjoy the company of others and the strength of her athleticism, and there was no way in heaven or earth that she was going to enjoy capturing the conversation of how to maintain clean book-keeping.

Now with four kids of my own, I have a sandbox in which to test how to cater to each personality and also create talks that fit the entire crew. Knowing that my few hours each day with them needed to be impactful, I was compelled to continually probe: how do I help prepare my kids for the world, nurture their self-worth, and set them up for success?

When it comes to money matters, I discovered that many of the principles were present in other aspects of life. Relationships, food, energy, and time are all resources. How we manage our resources shapes who we are and what we accomplish. So when it comes to budgeting, saving, earning, creating passive income, and charity, I can relate it to things much more current-day for my kids’ stages in life by talking about balanced snack choices, dreams, helping mom, our home, and sharing. I will occasionally draw the line to money so they are exposed to terms that are associated with those concepts but the core ideas are being built, as are their intrinsic desires to hold the ideas for themselves.

For time management, for example, I use a bell system (alarms on my phone and a Bluetooth portable speaker) to help them learn the feeling of passing time. Then, we have a morning list* that must be accomplished within the time frame. The bells along the way each have a different tone and allow them to gauge their pace. My older two can tell time now, which allows them to control their time management on their own without the bell. I remind them that we must run our day or our day will run us. They know how it feels to be negatively pressured by the clock versus being in control of their time with room to spare. The line I draw is "intentionality" because if we can manage our time, we can manage our money.

The follow-up key emphasis is the positive reinforcement of the beauty and power of being 1) in control and 2) aligned with what we really want. They are full of confident pride when they finish their morning tasks well before the third bell and enjoy how nice it is to have time to read or play with our puppy or jump around and be silly before school. Like many in my generation, I grew up in a home that was very strict on punctuality ("Because valuing someone's time is a way we can show them respect") to the point where I often was miserable when I was not at least 10 minutes early. The difference of my childhood was that punctuality felt like the goal, whereas what I teach my kids is our wants are the goal and time is one of the tools we use to get it (Example wants: I want to show respect, I want to play). Curious invitations: Remember how upset you were when you forgot your binder? Do you want to have time to drink hot cocoa with marshmallows while coloring? Then let’s adjust how long it takes our must-do’s so we can create space.

Kids connect when you operate in the world they live in. It was a bit of a misnomer to say I don’t teach my kids finance, because, well…I do…through nutrition, getting ready for school, a tidy room, sharing with others, nurturing friendships, helping around the house, and even getting the mail. Everyday moments. Those are the conversations that are natural for us busy parents and timely for our vivaciously active kids. For everyone working to raise savvy kids, give yourself the grace to not be a finance guru. Yes, keep growing in your financial acumen, but you have so much in your arsenal already that you can use to guide your child in the principles behind money and it is found in everyday moments. Share a comment on Instagram, or Threads when you find one of those teaching moments — I’d love to hear what opportunity you got to use and how your child latched on!

*The morning list does not include chores but is a list of things that need to be done in order to get out the door successfully for the day. Brush teeth, make bed, water jug, healthy breakfast, etc.— Check out our storybook now on preorder where we share some insights into how our family practices life skills and lay the foundation for financial literacy: themonsterjob.com